Ever find yourself scouting the streets for the perfect dresser, or browsing the web for hours on end to find a just-right loveseat? Buying new furniture is great, but some people take it to an unhealthy level by exhibiting obsessive or compulsive behavior. Pali baby furniture is a great choice for those on the hunt for something unique and trendy, but you’ve got to be careful not to fall into their clutches.
An obsession can affect anyone, regardless of their socio-economic status, background or mental health. Many people in the furniture industry are afflicted by it, but there are certain individuals who exhibit this behavior more than others. If you know someone who’s obsessed with furniture, or if you’re the one with a serious case of the white coat blues, take a look at these 15 telltale signs to see if you’re suffering from an obsession with your own home decor.
1. You see furniture wherever you go.
When you’re obsessively in love with furniture, it’s akin to being in a great long distance relationship with chairs and tables. You’ll start seeing them everywhere you go; in a magazine, on the street or just out of the corner of your eye. Your whole life is about to be consumed by furniture and there is no turning back now.
2. You only shop for stuff that has been advertised on TV.
You will no longer go shopping for beds, dressers and kitchen tables at Ikea or big box stores like Home Depot or Lowes. In fact, you will go out of your way to go to furniture stores that are featured on HGTV, TLC or similar television shows. All the while you will be wearing a coat and tie and must have a double-chin at all times.
3. You spend more time thinking about furniture than you spend eating and sleeping.
You don’t sleep much anymore because even in your dreams there’s no more room in your bed for another beautiful table with drawers and shelves. You think about it, plan it out and start singing nursery rhymes about it (which makes you feel old). You’re obsessed with your furniture so much that it’s all you can talk about.
4. You have no idea what to do with the stuff in your house.
You used to take pride in the fact that when friends would come over you would always have a fully stocked bar, game room, or well-equipped office. Now however, you can’t even find the remote when there’s 30 people over and everyone is clustered around the television watching “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” so you just stare at them blankly and wonder why there aren’t any couches available for sale at Home Depot.
5. When you leave the house, people make merry and amuse themselves around you.
The furniture in your house is such a staple that everyone just naturally gravitates towards it. People will forget about their iPads and iPhones when they see something worth admiring in your home. After all, “the furniture is magnificent.” Your furniture is like a magnet for attention, so it’s best to be careful around other people so you don’t get distracted and swept up in their shenanigans.
6. If you don’t have your chair handy you can feel cheated out of life.
They’re not just chairs anymore. If it’s not your chair, you feel like a bad friend or worse, you feel like a bad person. “I’m hungry,” you’ll say. “Where’s the kitchen table? I need to make snacks for my friends.” You don’t want to be the one of five people in the room without a chair, so you make sure to always have your own at hand so if someone asks you to go check out that new bar that opened up down the street, you can say: “Oh no! My chair is right over there! I just can’t leave it out.”
7. Your home is constantly changing and evolving.
You’re always making some sort of change in your house, be it to the furniture or the decor. You’re never satisfied with how your house looks, so you keep rearranging things, tearing them apart or adding things on top as if it were a giant game of Jenga. It is impossible for you to not be dissatisfied with your current arrangement so you constantly try out new things.
8. When people come over they never leave without making a humorous comment about your furniture.
They tell you about what a trip it is for the delivery guy to carry the piece there, or how hard it was to bring you that new dining room table because there was no way he would fit that thing up the stairs. They make jokes while they’re there and you’ll find yourself running around with an imaginary spatula trying to sweep up their messes every time they lay something down in your house.
9. You have a scar tissue problem from all the furniture repairs you’ve had.
You’ll be the first person to ask about furniture and when someone tells you it’s for sale, you’ll be the first one to buy it. You’ll go out of your way to find a new repair guy who can fix things quickly and easily. When people come over, they often bring their own damn furniture so if they scratch your chair, you have no choice but to rip off the scratchy old covering and put on a new cover that looks like it came off of an inflatable pool float.
10. Your neighbors think you’re a weirdo and keep an eye on you at all times.
When you see a new piece of furniture in your apartment, you’re the first person they call to check if they can borrow it because they’re reading through that same book again. Other people keep an eye on you when you leave the house and will even exchange glances when they see you walking right back home with a bunch of toys or whatever else is in your arms.
11. You’re so excited about your furniture that you’ll pay full price for it.
You’re so excited about your new coffee table from Restoration Hardware that you know you have to have it. You can’t pass up that sofa, no matter how much it cost, because the one at home was just a piece of junk. The truth is: Your furniture is a necessity and something you will not settle for less than the best quality.
12. You become known around town as someone who only buys high-end, antique furniture.
You’ve become known for having a thing for furniture and it’s probably because you’re totally obsessed with it. They don’t believe you when they find out how many hours you work, or the number of times your boss made fun of your last outfit, but they can’t help but be impressed when they see your marvelous pieces.
13. You have more furniture than clothes, and that is not okay.
You probably have at least three pieces of furniture for every one outfit you own. You’re not even lying when you say things like, “I don’t wear clothes because I get too hot,” or “oh I can’t wear that shirt my dresser is full.” Don’t worry though. It’s not a big deal! Most people have a lot more furniture than clothing anyway, so if you’re buying new furniture let them know they can borrow it anytime!
14. You dream of having the perfect home and want your furniture to be the focal point.
You’ve never had the perfect home but you’ve tried. You think you’d be the perfect homeowner if your life wasn’t already so out of control. You have big dreams of having a home with a big, beautiful dining room fit for hosting small intimate dinners for your friends and coworkers. You wish that one day, maybe you’ll even host a dinner at your place with just the right amount of red wine and good food so you can spend the evening relaxing and chatting with everyone there while they admire your lovely furniture.
15. You take furniture out of your house and make it an art project.
You’ve taken a few pieces of furniture out of your house, maybe just for the day or even for a couple weeks and you’ve made it into something else. You have framed some pieces and hung them on the wall; others you’ve put in photo albums; still others are sitting on top of your photography table. While they’re all still furniture, they take on a whole new look when they’re displayed with your other mixed media art projects.