In the words of Marcel Proust, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, it was meant to be.” The mother-in-law is not your best friend and she never will be like a wicked mother in law quote. And the only way to change that is by cutting ties with her. It’s hard though; no one wants to hurt anyone else and we find it easier to hate than forgive. But just remember one thing: she’s going through a difficult time too and that probably has nothing to do with how she treats your significant other or any children she might have killed in her uterus (just kidding).
8 ways to deal with a bad mother in law are:
1. Don’t try to change her:
You’ll fail anyway because there’s nothing to change. She either doesn’t care to change or she just doesn’t have it in her to change. The best way to deal with a bad mother-in-law is not by trying to change who she is but by loving who you are. No matter how obnoxious, rude or harsh she is, you need to understand that the reason behind all this is something very personal and it’s not necessary that you will ever find out.
2. Keep your thoughts private:
Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship can tell you how important it is to keep your thoughts private. You don’t need to share your feelings with everyone. This includes not only your spouse but also the mother-in-law. For your own good, stop wishing she would just disappear or die already. It’s not going to happen.
3. Don’t listen to her:
She is not your therapist and you are not your shrink. Just because she knows something about the life of her daughter that you don’t, doesn’t mean there’s a point in sharing it with you. Stop defending yourself and stop expecting her to understand you when she is so far away from understanding herself (she’s going through a rough time after all). It’s probably best if you just walk away from the conversation instead of listening to every word she says and agreeing with everything that comes out of her mouth.
4. Stop apologizing for everything:
You are a grown woman. You are not perfect but you don’t have to apologize for every single little thing that comes out of your mouth. You need to understand that there’s only so much you can do and the rest is up to her. If there ever was someone who needed an apology, it would be this woman here. No matter what you do, it would never be enough for her. Avoid saying sorry for the smallest things and you’ll find your spirit liberating.
5. Don’t make promises:
The worst thing a mother-in-law can do is keep a promise made to her daughter, especially if that promise was made a long time ago (the day you married the lovestruck girl would have been a bad one). It’s best that you just give the woman a small token or offer every once in a while (you can buy her some clothes or shoes or whatever she wants) to say thank you.
6. Say no in advance:
Just because she’s demanding doesn’t mean that you have to say yes all the time. If you say no in advance, all the unpleasantness will be avoided (see, the most common reason behind a shameful mother-in-law is her own feelings of shame).
7. Don’t give her what she wants:
If you can’t change something about your mother-in-law and all you can do is accept it, then your best way of dealing with a bad mother-in-law is by accepting her for who she is and letting things be. Probably there’s no point in changing the relationship or turning everything upside down to make it better. In other words, don’t let her ruin your life.
8. Cut ties with her:
Just because you can’t change who she is doesn’t mean that you have to live with it. If you find no other way or getting fed up, then the best way to deal with a bad mother-in-law is to get away from the person altogether (although I’m sure deep down she will miss you).
It’s not easy when dealing with a bad mother in law but if there’s one thing I know it’s this: if she were different, my life would be different. But that’s how things go sometimes and your only choice is trying to make the best out of an impossible situation.
Conclusion:
The only thing you can do is accept her for who she is and what she has turned into. If you need to feel sorry for someone, it’s best that you worry about yourself and not the woman. She’ll probably be okay in the end. But no one said life was going to be a bed of roses, did they?
I hope this helps you people out there who are dealing with their mother-in-law and looking for answers on how to deal with a bad mother in law.
Until next time! I’m out!
