Confessions: How I Got Addicted to Buffet

It’s hard to believe, but there was once a time when I thought buffets were my enemy. I’d see them lurking in the back of every mall and grocery store – the fruit bowls and cookies, adorned with whipped cream and chocolate sauce, the grilled cheese sandwiches with onions cooked into them, or the hamburgers that would never get old. It was always too much for me to resist.

But then one day I decided to make peace with these hand-gathered meals in restaurants near tinley park amphitheater. Maybe it was because I just wanted a good nap after walking for hours in one of those amusement parks that seem to be everywhere these days (seriously though?). 

Or maybe it was because I was in one of those lifeless towns where no good restaurants exist, and the last decent meal I had was the day before (I think it was a taco). Whatever the reason, I found myself walking into the entrance of a nearby buffet.

Honestly though, I wasn’t sure what to expect. A small part of me thought that buffets were always overrated and that they’d be better off just selling everything separately. And another part of me wondered how anyone could eat as much as they did without throwing up in front of everybody. If it weren’t for having already spent $20 to get in, I would have probably left right away. 

But instead, I walked into the spectacle that buffet dining is.

The first thing I noticed upon entering was the endless rows of tables with refrigerators on each side. To me, it always looks like everyone is eating off of the same plates and bowls – but in reality, these people are taking their leftovers home. I wondered for a moment whether or not the buffet host was watching me, but I didn’t give it much thought. If a restaurant sees someone taking something from their fridge, they’ll immediately send an employee after them to ask them what they’re doing. But here it’s more of a silent plea for you to clean your mess before leaving (and if you don’t, it’ll be against the rules). The food started to appear shortly after this, and I was kind of disappointed at first. It wasn’t as amazing as I expected it to be – I mean, if you were just a regular customer, it wouldn’t surprise me that the place is dirty and full of cobwebs. And there’s probably some crappy cleaning lady that keeps finding dead flies in places they shouldn’t exist.

But then I started thinking about how it must be pretty similar to when you go to a fast food restaurant, where everyone stands in line and gets the same thing: a burger with ketchup and pickles on it. And there’s probably some crappy manager that frowns at you when you take your burger off the bun before eating it.

But then again, this is probably why buffets are so great: they’re like fast food restaurants on a greater scale. You can do whatever you want – whether it’s adding a little bit of soy sauce onto your fried rice, or forgetting the mayonnaise on your sandwich. You can even take two or three plates (and bowls) to eat out of; talk about being wasteful! And if there ever is a closing time for the buffet, you can just go around and eat whatever’s left.

And here I am, thinking about all these possibilities…

I started to wonder if I was actually wasting more food than if I was buying everything separately. But then I suddenly realized that this was probably my first buffet, and that I was probably just trying to connect the dots.

So instead of feeling gypped, I decided to enjoy this place. And let me tell you: it was pretty enjoyable. There were a lot of interesting things on the menu – like the duck eggs that looked so tempting but would have looked even better with some green onions, or the little skewers with onion rings floating in there – and there were many kinds of meats, including ones that I’d never seen before. There was also an area for dessert; different kinds of ice cream floated on top of stripes of orange colored strawberry sauce. It just seemed like there was something for everyone here.

But it was all over within moments, and I headed to the exit. As I reached the front door, there was the sound of a friendly lady asking what I thought of the place. I told her that it was pretty good, but that they probably should have had more food. Then a little boy came up to me smiling, asking me if there were any good toys in here. Naturally I encouraged him not to worry about this and told him he could look around with me; but before we could leave, he asked if we could please get some ice cream for his brother (it’s always these inquisitive kids who ask for free stuff).

With that being said, I hope everyone enjoys buffets…